


How About No

by draig_aswec



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, College AU, F/M, Kinda?, M/M, asshole Luther, fuck boy Diego, whats new there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-11-24 15:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18166892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draig_aswec/pseuds/draig_aswec
Summary: Prompt fill for Fuckboy!Diego chasing a pure Klaus... hopefully this fits.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Allison and well everyone may be a little OOC

Diego sat in the booth of his favourite coffee shop with his sister and her boyfriend. The shop was lightly packed with customers and no one paid attention to three twenty somethings sitting in the back, Patrick (the ass) was talking about the moon again, not that he ever stopped talking about the moon but Diego had tuned out and judging by his sisters heart eyes he figured Allison wasn’t listening to a word coming out of his mouth either.

 

“Hey Diego look it’s the freaks,” Patrick suddenly half shouted slapping the back of his hand against Diego’s forearm and pointing to the door. The ‘Freaks’ as Patrick called them were four students at Patrick’s and Allison’s school. The first person was Vanya, a soft spoken girl who played violin in the orchestra, she was easy to miss if not for the fact her eyes where a white colour, Diego was pretty sure they were contacts though. The second was Ben, or at least that’s what Diego had heard, the man so easy to miss people seemed to walk through him half the time, Diego wondered idly if he was actually mute, he had seen the man make hand gestures to his other two friends and he often assumed it was sign language, but he didn’t believe he was deaf because he walked around with headphones half the time. The third was a actual kid maybe sixteen who hung around with the others and did nothing but study and insult people, if Diego was right the kid’s name was Five or something equally weird.The fourth member of their little group was Klaus, no one ever would assume someone so loud and flamboyante would hang around with the three almost deathly silent people, but he did, and didn’t actually say much to anyone else, but he dressed in dramatic fashion and added a dramatic flare to everything he did.

 

And seeing the four walk into a room was a sight, Vanya in a light blue sweater, she looked soft and skittish as she looked around the room, Ben on her left in his same light grey hoodie and brown leather jacket as always holding a book in one hand and her violin case and the other. Klaus was behind them in a long coat and leather skirt, with some mesh type crop top, and Five was too his right holding a backpack and telling Klaus his coffee order.  

 

“What the fuck is with that guy?” Patrick asked, catching Diego’s attention. “Do you think he’s high? maybe you can bust him,”

 

“I’m not an officer yet, hell I might not even get out of the academy at this point,”

 

“I got a better idea,” Allison butted in, “I think he just wants attention. Maybe you should rough him up? Unless if he’s into that sort of think,” his sister let out a laugh.

 

“Nah that little fuckers just Diego’s type. Right, dude? Isn’t that what you said last time, bossy women and loud twinks?” Patrick and Allison both laughed at that one, while Diego rolled his eyes. Well he did say that, kinda, he said powerful people and listed a few.

 

“How about you see just how easy he is. Guy probably will sleep with any man who gives him attention. Hell I’ll pay you twenty bucks if you get his number in under five minutes,” Allison pulled out a twenty and nodded to the area where Klaus stood ordering a few coffee drinks for him and his friends.

 

“Twenty buck to get the weird kids number?” Not that Diego would be opposed to having a guy like Klaus.

 

“Sure thing man, i mean it’s practically free money but yeah,”

 

Diego nodded and walked over to Klaus after the man had moved away from the counter, “Hi I’m sorry to bother you but I saw you over there and I hope this isn’t too forward but I was wondering if you by any chance are single?”

 

“Hey,” the other man smiled, “um yeah Ii am, but oh how do I say this? Oh, I know, screw off asshole? This isn’t some dumb teen movie and that never works on people,” he said is with a roll of his eyes before turning around.

 

“What?” yeah, Diego didn’t know how to respond to that one.

 

“Your little friends over there should learn to lower their voices if they are going to talk shit about someone, and for the record I wouldn’t be that easy either way. Also you’re not my type,” and with that he walked toward the table with his friends sitting down next to Vanya and whispering something to Ben who let out a silent laugh, leaving a dumbfound Diego in the center of the shop.

 

Slowly Diego walked back toward his own group ready to take the mocking he knew would be coming from Patrick, “Well that was a spectacular failure, I didn’t think the dude paid any attention,”

 

“I’m more surprised that he said he wasn’t gay, the guy dresses like a cheap whore half the time and the other half i’m pretty sure he’s just wearing clothes from the other threes closets,” Allison joined in laughing a little, “Dude’s such a freak he doesn’t actually think a woman wants to date a guy wearing more makeup than she does, does he?”

 

“He’s kinda hot though. Looks good in that red,”

 

“Dude what red? What are you talking about? The freak was wearing black,”

 

“His lips, he has on some red lipstick or something it looks really nice. Plus I’m going to get him, just watch no one can resist Diego Vasquez,”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Diego went to move his arm as he woke up stopping only after noticing the weight on it. He looked over to see his roommate Eudora resting on it. They must have feel asleep after  one of their movie nights. Diego slowly got moving again leaving his spot on the couch and under Eudora. He quickly headed to the kitchen and grabbed a box of pancake mix: may as well make breakfast for the woman. 

 

He was halfway through making the batch when Eudora walked in, already dressed in button up and slacks. “You know maybe if you treated those little girls you always have following you around the way you treated me, you’d have an actual relationship,”

 

“Ah but you see Eudora dear, I do not have any interest in having a relationship with these women. I don’t like relationship, far too much work, plus pancakes are for friends not lovers. And no, before you say it, that doesn’t mean I want more with the men who I sleep with either,” He replied as he flipped over a pancake.

 

“What would your mother think?” Eudora shook her head as she moved to pull down two plates and some glasses from the pantry.

 

“Don’t worry my mother is just as disappointed as you are but she’s not here,” He shook his head as he brought the stack of pancakes toward the table and then went to gather butter and syrup.

 

“Aw is Mommy’s little boy rebelling? Should we call her, get her professional opinion on how to make you behave,”

 

“Hey leave my mother out of this,” He turns to playfully glare at her, “She’s a great woman and doesn’t need your opinion on her son,”

 

“I’m not disagreeing Grace is amazing, don’t know how she raised such a little brat. I think she needs to know about how you fuck anything on two legs, ruins your family name, what would your abula think?”

 

“I’m not that bad,” They sit down at the table while Eudora poured two glasses of orange juice and two cups of coffee, “Hey you know that kid at the college, Klaus?”

 

“Yeah I know Klaus he’s cool,”

 

“We can’t be talking about the same dude here, Klaus is the one with the fur coat who walks around being the definition of a femboy-twink, but somwhow tured me down, even though ”

 

“For a bi guy you sound incredibly homophobic.” she cut him off, “Anywho remember I told you I’ve dating the guy I met at the opera my Grandma made me go to remember?” Diego nodded as he ate his pancakes, not quit understanding her reasoning for the subject change, “My new boyfriend is friends with Klaus, I usually hang out with Klaus and his sister and that Five kid, whenever me and Ben have dates,”

 

“I didn’t realise he had a sister,”

 

“Eh, Vanya is pretty quiet mostly sticks to talking to her brother and their friend Ben, and Five I guess she’s trying to teach me ASL so I can join in without her and Klaus translating for me, we mostly text and use wild hand gestures,”   
  


“Wait, so you’re dating mute boy and ” He hold up a hand, “You’re saying violin girl is Klaus’ sister?”

 

“Mute boy? Violin girl? What are you Luther?” she snorts as she takes another drink of her coffee, as per usual ignoring the orange juice.

 

“One, Rude. Two, hell I don’t keep track of them. Three, what type of guy is Klaus into,”

 

“One you are being as slow as Luther. Two learn to keep track. Three, don’t fuck over Klaus he’s nice. Four,  just because you’re cute doesn’t mean a guy like Klaus will bend over for you,”

 

“Well what type of guy is Klaus,”

 

“One with better taste then some fuck boy who spends all his time playing with knives and boxing,” Diego let out an offended sound,   
  
“Rude,  I’m a catch,” he said as he shoveled half a pancake into his mouth.

 

“Maybe if someone wants an STI,” She said with a laugh while he flipped her off with both hands.

 

“I’m clean, bitch,”

 

***

 

When Diego got back to his apartment with Eudora  after work he hadn’t expected to see The Freaks all sitting on his couch. First thing he noticed was that Klaus was wearing a black lipstick and the second thing he noticed was that he was in Diego’s sweatshirt, then his mind calmed down enough to take in the wet hair and runny eye makeup. 

 

“Hi,” Diego greeted, letting Eudora and the others know of his presence.

 

“Hey Diego,” His roomate called back and make a waving motion trying to get him to enter the living area fully, “I hope you don’t mind we were in the park and some dick pushed Klaus into the pond, I let him take a shower and loaned him some of you clothes,” Eudora pointed at Klaus who, now that Diego was looking again was also wearing a pair of Diego’s skinny jeans.

 

“Nah, I don’t mind. What are you guys up to,” He’s still half staring at Klaus but who can blame him. Wouldn’t you stare a little if a beautiful man was wearing your favourite Cure sweat shirt and a pair of you’re jeans, Diego was just trying not to think about if the boy was wearing his boxers too, or if maybe there was nothing of underneath the jeans. 

 

Yeah, no that’s a train of thought for people he’s gonna bed, not people his best friend specifically said were off limits. Like Klaus, who he can’t sleep with. 

 

“We were about to watch the Labyrinth, apparently your roommate had a fucked up childhood and has never seen it,” Klau said with a smile, “Wanna join?”

 

“Of course I want to join, it’s David Bowie,”

 

“Diego do you realise that you’re obsession with music is completely unhealthy right?” Eudora said while Diego went to sit in the space next to Klaus, who had politely moved to let Diego sit in a small loveseat.

 

“Unhealthy? Yes. Curable? No,”

 

“Dude, that sounded so gay,” Diego shrugs but doesn’t reply as Ben presses play on the movie. Plus he’s bi, and he knows Dora isn’t trying to be homophobic so it doesn’t matter that much if she makes a gay joke here or there. 

 

Half way through the movie he seems to forget that Klaus is not supposed to be a hookup and ends up flirting quietly with him while the others all have their eyes glued to the screen.

 

“So, yesterday you said I wasn’t your type, wanna feel me in on what that type means?” He’s far closer that necessary even for the small loveseat, Klaus doesn’t seem to mind sinces he’s been inching closer too.

 

“I happen to have a thing for men with minds, you know the type who think with more than their dick?”

 

“I’ll have you know I’m not nearly as bad as Eudora makes me out to be, or the other people i hang out with,”

 

“No one who considers Patrick Harper a friend can be that smart,”

 

“Patrick isn’t my friend he’s just sleeping with my sister,”

 

Klaus moves a little closer pulling his long legs onto the couch and Diego lets the boy set his bare feet on his lap. “That’s not much better, what if they marry then you have to claim him as your brother in law?” Klaus whispered in mostly haux horror.

 

“If Allison marries Patrick me and my mom already agreed to disown her. Claire stays with us though,” he joked back. This wasn’t flirty anymore, just talking about his sister’s mistakes with men.

 

“Who’s Claire?”

 

“The only good thing that came out of any of  Allison’s relationships. Her daughter,” he shrugged thinking about his niece. Okay maybe this conversation wasn’t technically flirting at all. Klus was fun to talk to. “She doesn’t know who the dad is but it’s cool, we all love Claire and Ally, i just wish she would go back to dating someone better for her. Back in high school,” he’s talking with his hands, yeah Klaus is fun, and the other boy is almost completely in Diego’s lap now, he’s probably good at cuddling, -wait off topic-“She had dated this guy Luther he had been my best friend for years, treated her right me and mom always thought they would run off together, after school and come back two years later hitched and with one and a half kids in the car. Then she cheated on him, had Claire and dumped him,” 

 

“I guess the cheating fuck boy gene in present in the females and males of your family,” Klaus jokes.

 

“Eh, Allison sleeps around and cheats because she’s scared of men hurting her like our father did, I do it because I don’t want to screw up, not the same. She’s scared I just don’t like commitment, just another person to fail,” Diego shrugs, and gives a sad smile, “Sorry that sounded dark. Also if it makes you feel better you did get a place as number two on my no way in hell list,” he jokes again hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

 

“No way in hell list, that doesn’t feel like something to be happy about,” Klaus is now completely in Diego’s lap.

 

“The no way in hell list in a special list of people I can't seduce, sleep with, or even kiss, because it would cause a major upset, Eudora values your friendship and i get the feeling we could be good friends too so, right now you are number two, right under Eudora Patch herself.” Klaus laughed at the dramatic tone Diego used and the two turned their heads toward the others who all gasped at the ‘not quit slap scene,’. 

 

 

‘Maybe Diego ant so bad,’ Klaus thought becfor zoning back in.


End file.
